VISUAL ART
ISSUE 3 / MARCH 2022
This is an embroidery of a dog in my life. I used to use embroidery as an excuse to drink, but now it it's a way to express my gratitude to myself for being sober.
A cut out mixed media collage on paper, photographed and edited for digital presentation. A story in tandem.
And there she was. Where she always was. Every afternoon at 6 o’clock he knew that she’d be there. Dangling on that windowsill with nowhere left to go, nothing left to do. No one else seemed to notice that she was sitting still right there. But he did. He always did. He never stopped to speak to her. He could tell she was busy with something no one else could see. She reminded him that a person could be here, and gone at the same time. And there was something beautiful about that. Her, like so many people he had come to know. Here but really gone. Distracted by their thoughts, perhaps with something better than this. Musing over contemplations, wading in a dream.
A cut out mixed media collage on paper, photographed and edited for digital presentation. A story in tandem.
And she sat there… with her back to the mirror she wouldn’t dare look in. A half-eaten pizza and her fourth glass of Chardonnay. Just sitting there reminding her of all the other things in her life she consumed and discarded. All the men. All the money. All the booze and the clothes and the job titles. All the fancy hotel rooms she had been in that looked just like this one. Empty.
So she sat. And she drank and she ate. And she stared. She waited. Wondering if this was it for her. Thinking, no… it couldn’t be. Alone somewhere between indifference and sadness.
Waiting on a feeling.
Graphic collage depicting all that is released out into the universe from a sober Empath living on Earth.
Growing up I cared for my alcoholic father for many years. I travelled back from Uni, where I studied fine art, each weekend just to check he was ok. When I graduated he was sent to Strageways prison for 3months after a drink driving offence. The same week my son was born he was diagnosed with Korsakoff’s syndrome (no short term memory) and placed in 24hr care. Art has been my saviour and helped me to cope with life’s events and process things.
I created this artwork to celebrate spring, and to show how much we grow when we make positive changes and nurture ourselves properly.
Spring Clean Excerpt:
I believe that there comes a point where we have to spring clean our lives. As in really tidy out the internal wardrobe and chuck away all the old skeletons and all the old clothes that no longer fit and leave the door wide open for a while before making space for something new. Sobriety has given me an intrinsic need to make sense of what’s been so that I can move on with what’s yet to come. I must pull out all the dusty old skeletons from the cupboard, look them in the eye, and then place them firmly in the bin, along with the stuff that worked for me years ago but is no longer fitting with the person I am today; a person who looks for solace where previously there was none.
It's not always easy or straightforward to spring clean our lives and start all over again. How do we empty out the cupboard and wipe the slate clean, ready to start afresh?
Read the full piece in the Library here
Acrylic on 2.5 x 3 inch canvas.
Acrylic and magazine clippings on 2 x 2 inch canvas.
This is a page from my sketchbook, made with acrylic paint, pen, and words cut from a magazine. It reminds me of the courage at the beginning of my recovery journey. Where I knew I had to dig deep, and get through this using every ounce of my soul.
Mixed media. This work expresses how in sobriety we go from feeling "dead" to experiencing some of our greatest growth. Often times we are in limbo, feeling attached to our old self while simultaneously transforming into a new form of ourselves.
These leaves were taken from a bonsai ficus. This plant is known for it's ability to grow dense leaves when pruned regularly.
In Interior Alaska, spring can be slow coming and always welcome. The Pasque flower is the first to come up in the sunny, warm spots. It is covered in little hairs to collect and hold warmth. The cup of petals will follow the sun to hold its heat. This teeny flower, sprouting after eight months of snow and darkness, is ready for its new beginning.
When I create my art with quiet, solid backgrounds I like to pour my thoughts into that space. It gives me room to breathe and rest.
I think I'm ready. I hope for my own new beginnings. I store my hopes in the quiet space of my paintings.
This is a collage made entirely from magazines. Each collage takes several hours and is first drawn and then filled. Paper is torn by hand and applied using rubber cement. Girl in the woods was meant to portray honesty, vulnerability and reflection.
Despite being told that this is perfect for a nursery :), it is meant to portray a variety of emotions simultaneously, not all of them light or playful. I love how one thing can be interpreted differently by different people. This is a collage made by hand with ripped paper that is applied with rubber cement.
I rediscovered fiber arts in sobriety- something I had done as a child but became too cool for as I embarked on my drinking career.
Today I create works based on phrases I hear or I come up with- as is the case here. In therapy my therapist quipped “well I think you’re great” and I laughed and said “hey guys my therapist thinks I’m great!” That’s what it’ll say on my trophy! And here we are!
A cut paper diorama in an Altoids tin with a quote from Baltimore's own John Waters. I googled his favorite books, and mixed some of mine in, too. And we have at least one in common.
"Rhino", "Flamingo", and "Monarch Butterfly" are part of my ongoing animal & nature series. A lifelong animal lover, I'm hoping that my work inspires interest in the natural world and the amazing wildlife that inhabit our planet. My paintings are created on canvas with an acrylic base followed by layers of oil paint, and bright, bold colors are always a must. Painting has been an incredible source of healing and transformation for me as I continue down this path, and I love seeing fellow artists have similar experiences.
October 2020 - Acrylic on canvas - 76 cm x 102 cm
"When you see inside your heart and re-write the stories that held you back from your soul purpose, magic happens."
Writing a story about my past unearthed a deep desire to paint. This is the 1st in the collection - From the Garden of My Heart.
Being sober gave me and my unique creative self permission to go for it , working on those stories and beliefs that held me back from living life my way. I am now living my dream , I am the one and only Amanda Sober Artist & Creative Guide!
Betty the Begonia Leaf Print - Limited Edition - A3/A2 Giclée Print
"She is a card and now my beloved Betty is a print. Betty has been with me for years and has had many "Betty Babies" which I have gifted to friends & family. its now time to honour her and her services to nature & making people feel happy"
I love creating Mandala's, these hand-drawn originals are for you, to buy for yourself or give as a present to someone you love.
Each freehand Mandala is drawn with love, no two are the same, I don't use rulers, compasses, or pre-draw, they just grow as I put pen to paper.
I never know what they are going to look like and just enjoy the calming process of drawing them, each one is drawn with love and comes from a place of calm.
I have been drawing them and guiding others to do the same for 10 yrs and they are a big part of my life.
Creating is an uncomfortable process for me. I agonise, dwell, despair, berate, give up and then return to everything I try and do. This one was just a head on my cutting board for weeks before I had steeled myself enough to try.
I try and tell a narrative when I make something. This one is actually a character from a story that is planned out but that I'm building up the nerve to write.
I like watering my plants because it gives me time to reflect and meditate and that’s often when I go through what I’m grateful for, so, I drew my plants, because I’m grateful for them too.
When I got sober and was in treatment I would paint everyday after getting home. This is my first painting since getting sober and a departure from my normal media the past few years. When I paint I love to put a certain playlist (the same one I made when I got sober) and just start, allowing the figure and colors to come organically as I work. My painting work is much more expressive and feels so good to get my brushes back out and create much looser.
I was having a talk with my sponsor about control and ego, having this innate sense of "I have to do this, people are depending on me" combined with the sense of what will people think of me, they'll think less of me, taking things personal...the list goes on. He then told me a story about a situation in his life, "It wasn't that anything I did or didn't do, it was just ABOUT THE BEES. I had to stop making it about me." This piece is my chance to process those things!
Gouache painting of the Ponce City Market in Atlanta.
Gouache on paper. Painting reminds me of sobriety. I worked on this piece over and over and I still feel like there’s more to get right. With sobriety, I’m the type who relapses more often than I want to. But much like painting every time I try again, I’m building something bigger. My skills took time, as well as trial and error. I think my healing is taking a similar trajectory. Be patient, keep trying.
What’s your mind-numbing substance of choice?
Do you feel trapped?
Do you feel like a madman?
What do you think will save you?
No one can save you
But you.
Foto weaving. 4x6 matte print, hand woven. Images of cityscape taken in uptown and lakeshore areas of Oakland, CA.
Little story: I often frequented the town for bar lounges and happy hours. A distant boozed memory. Now, I find joy and memories amongst community, sober. My joy is like tetris of life --clearing levels with the mind and falling blocks I'm given. Creating is my happiest hour.
Foto weaving. 4x4 matte print, hand woven. Images of a black succulent covered with a spider's web, and cityscape shot of side-by-side houses in San Francisco, CA.
Little story: I used to think that my small world of boozey behavior didn't affect anyone. When I look at this image with a sober mind, I think about the web that we create in life, the chaos. After all, the spider's web is a microcosm of the society we create, connections we make, and homes we inhabit.
Foto weaving. 4x4 matte print, hand woven. Images of a vintage building in Oakland, CA, and a one-thousand year old tree stump in San Francisco, CA.
Little story: Sobriety brings a new kind of self-love that I never knew existed. It grows you. It allows you to love yourself so much that you're able to see past mistakes and wounds clearly. It heals you and fills all those wounds and cracks with love. It allows you to show up, whole, in new relationships. I knew love in my past life, but never like this.
This 64 musician mosaic is a series of individual acrylic paintings, a two month passion project, that of one portrait at a time, usually one a day. This work is symbolic to me because it represents the significance of taking sobriety one day at a time and the accumulation of success and the momentum that results when something so huge is broken down to small, manageable proportions. A portrait a night replaced a bottle a night. The music that accompanied each portrait was a most lovely companion and created a peaceful comfort zone I could never find in active addiction.
Awkward: A Series
These doodles aim to take away the need to 'get it right'. They're quick scribbles that depict a moment, feeling or contemplation. This latest series uses bright colours, imperfect lines and a contemplative air, capturing those raw and messy but also ordinary life moments.
A short poem about those 'brain fog' mornings when it's uncertain which way is up, but at least you have a morning routine.
A most confusing morning
I splashed out of bed, crept into the sea;
showered my oats, put clothes on the stove;
drank up my breakfast, exhaled my slippers;
I opened a page in my heart, counted the beats on the paper;
held my shoes as I tied my breath
then, as I stared at the engine and switched on the sun
I exclaimed: Are we there yet!?
You can find more @mydoodlebody on Instagram
"After months of turning inward, of hibernation & of rest, life is beginning to stir again." Winters in Minnesota can be harsh, but once February/Imbolc comes it's time to celebrate that we are half way til Spring! This quote represents what 20 months sober has been like for me. Learning that healing & growth takes time. I am ready to let the love & sun back into my life. Darkness doesn't last forever.
This whimsical necklace is perfect for a creature that is secretly a forest nymph. Embrace your enchanting forest aesthetic this Spring.
I have to remind my self that it's ok to cry and that my feelings are valid. Don't diminish what you have gone through because it is apart of you & your story. A stone of transformation, Labradorite is a useful companion through change, imparting strength and perseverance. Labradorite also utilizes Water energy, the energy of stillness, quiet strength, & purification. These creations embody that and more.
I love the symbolism behind tarot cards. I chose cards that I thought were powerful & uplifting. It's easy to get sucked into the negativity in the world but remember there is so much beauty in it. Each has a little labradorite crystal cabachon with in the clay. Topped with gold leaf mica powder & satin glaze.
My name is Melissa M, I'm a thirty-something California native residing in Midland, Texas. I have an eighteen year old, and a two year old, both girls. In my blog I openly discuss anything from addiction to abuse to a new recipe I like.
A piece inspired by a wonderful weekend away exploring London with my partner. It was a weekend filled with love, with friends, with food and with hope. One that I will hold very close to my heart, as it felt like I was breaking through barriers, ones that had been laid long ago by forces unseen.
"Braving the storm"
40 X 60 cm.
Acrylic on canvas.
Signed on the front.
I feel like I'm thriving and not just surviving.
This evening I'm feeling really passionate about life, I'm feeling really content in myself and with the life I'm building. I've been sowing seeds for the past three years and now I'm finally reaping the rewards from my hard work, this is both in my social, personal and professional life. I'm selling my art at fairs, working a normal job, spending time with family and friends. What used to feel like a mountain, is now barley a bump, hard work pays and I have everything I need to thrive.
22 X 30 cm.
Acrylic on canvas.